In these mystical charcoal portraits and scenes, I explore the surreal and feminine emotions of hurt after broken trust, rage after silent compliance, and yearning after choosing to restrict loving connections. These figures and faces are created through the physical sensation of touch, as I blend charcoal and pastel with my fingertips onto textured paper. In this process, I experience a tactile connection to my work, caressing the forms as I navigate the complex ethics of affection intertwined with the experience of substance abuse. Oysters, ears, and eyes serve as symbolic vessels for emotions, memories, and entities—representing the lived, denied, or reclaimed experiences. The oyster, a feminine and generative form, births pearls as by-products of trauma, while the ear becomes a site of gendered listening and memory. I seek not only to give form to the unspoken, but to reclaim the fragments of self. Honoring both the pain and power found within unchosen journeys.